Of breaking the norms and stereotypes
I have a good news to share. I am going to US next month for work.
Alone? What about him? How will he manage home?
Last summer when I broke the news of my work travel to families on both sides, I had not expected the reaction. They were excited for me after being worried that I was going alone. I quickly drew a parallel from the previous times. This was my first and he had been away to other countries before. Then I never sensed a worry. There was happiness for the son/son-in-law traveling for work which was amiss this side.
Women work, manage homes and juggle all that well but their careers come second. It’s not the same for most men. For them, their careers take the top spot.
Parul, how much do you travel?
Life is fun for you both. No babies so you can enjoy. Vacations are for those who don’t have responsibilities.
Every time I am back from a road trip, I get comments of all kinds. Some times I want to hide myself and forget that I have a blog and posting travel pictures help me promote my upcoming work. It feels intrusion. Judgments of all kinds are so easy when you are a DINK(double income no kids). No one cares if this is a choice or forced choice. Where is empathy, world? And isn’t procreation a choice?
He works so hard. Logs in first and stays back until late at night.
She doesn’t care who is managing the baby. She is irresponsible and must have issues at home. That is why she is always in office.
I have heard many such comments and continue to hear things now and then. While organizations think a healthy gender diversity is a good thing, the women are not feeling included. Some guy finishes her job and takes the credit while she left a few hours early to take care of an ailing child. Some times, she goes through the pressure of what will in-laws say when she wants to stay at work? Then she leaves for home to finish up a chore only to be told later that she isn’t accountable.
I don’t have an answer but I do know that it’s not just in the hands of women. When we talk about breaking the norms, a woman needs to have the right support. Whether it is from spouse or extended family, there should be people who understand her and her aspirations. If there is a pressure of being married and what will the in-laws think if she works overnight, then we are not doing something right.
Before we talk about how many women we need in workforce, let’s talk about how many families want a daughter/daughter-in-law who gives her all into work even when the dishes are dirty and dinner in ordered in. Or the child is with nanny.
I also strongly feel that women need to have a voice and a say. They need to believe in themselves and that they know how to handle their work. A woman cannot expect others to respect her if she cannot respect herself. I come across women who are ready to put their choices at the back burner but that wouldn’t help the cause if they are looking for a change.
There is no need to be rude but there is a need to show you care about yourself.