Outpourings from a proud father
A lot of friends tell me that my life is an open blog and I agree with the statement in many ways. My fears, happiness, lessons, and life are out here. So when I received this letter yesterday, I wanted to share this with you. It is very personal but I feel comfortable at this point in life about sharing this with the readers of this blog.
This may not be up on social media but it will be here on my online space forever. My intent to share this is that no one should ever feel anything less or more for how they look. I have been there feeling that I am no good but I chose to fight it back. My friends, family, and VT love me for who I am and not how I look – with an asymmetrical face, hands, and overall looks. I am happy the way I am. This is my identity and I have embraced it with all my brain, heart, soul and emotions.
Today is your birthday and all those years gone by, 35 to be exact, flash before me from day one till date but I will write later about so many things.
Today my mind is occupied by one of your recent posts in which you referred to the days you left Azamgarh. Frankly speaking, I was never worried about your Greater Noida days as so many people were there in Delhi and NCR region that if need be, you would never have felt lonely, helpless and without support. I was confident that you are strong enough to manage there all by yourself and you proved it when you were in a PG accommodation in Noida. Those years were really difficult as there was no direct train between Azamgarh and Delhi, mobile revolution was yet to take off and net booking of train tickets was unheard of. I really feel guilty about not going Nagpur when you were doing MBA. You were so far away and your health was also not up to the mark but believe me, I was confident in my heart of hearts that you are capable of managing your affairs all by yourself and my going to Nagpur may weaken you emotionally. I am also of the same temperament and do not like people visiting me when I am down. Seeing dull faces around me make me nervous. What gave me confidence was your belief in yourself and this was evident from your childhood days.
You were one month and twenty days short of your second birthday when you got burnt in an accident. We got you admitted in LKG when you were not even 4 just to make you socialize and be comfortable with other kids of similar age. I don’t remember a single day when you said that you do not want to go to school. Next year C was sent to school and you were so caring and felt older enough to enquire how he is doing from his class teacher almost every day. Your teacher and we all used to laugh and enjoy this behavior from a kid who herself was in UKG. I remember this quality when you first landed in Bangalore and instantly became the local guardian of all your friends and managed their comfortable stay in a new land.
One more instance of how you conducted yourself was displayed in Bombay perhaps in the year 1993 when you were not even 12. During summer vacations that year, we went for a consultation with the top plastic surgeons about removing scars on your face. We took appointments with three best plastic surgeons. One of them had successfully treated film star Sanjay Khan who got severely burnt while shooting Sword of Tipu Sultan. The other had treated burnt victims of an aircraft. Both the surgeons were unanimous after examining and talking to you in private that you do not require plastic surgery and that scars will fade with the passage of time.
One surgeon was full of praise of you and later told us that you are an extraordinary girl and your self-confidence and self-esteem will be shaken if any cosmetic surgery is done. I still remember hearing him from behind the curtain when he asked you why you feel the need for surgery.
I don’t need it to be done.
Do you feel any thing in your beauty is lacking because of the scar?
No.This was an accident and it could happen to anyone. It was sheer chance that it happened to me but I do not feel a lesser human being because of it. I am ok with it.
Do your classmates or friends say something nasty about the scar before you or on your back?
My friends have no problem with this scar and why should I bother about others who are not my friends.
Your reply did wonders and he later told me that I am fortunate that I have such a wonderful daughter.These instances were sufficient indications that you are going to blossom into a wonderful human being and that I can be rest assured from your side
This much for today. On this happy day a very happy birthday to my dearest daughter. May you live a long, happy, healthy, prosperous and contented life.
For Day 25 of #NaBloPoMo, this is Papa’s letter to me. Not edited and verbatim – the signing off sentence is now the post’s title.