#PledgeForParity – Change Begins With You

19 Responses

  1. Arti says:

    Change begins from us and programmed as we are to take our decisions from a mindset that is tuned into fear, negative outcomes and stereotypical scenarios, perhaps this change is going to take some time. Small steps at a time as you have said, awareness of our being and sourcing power from a strong belief system is the need of the hour. Great post, Parul!

  2. richa singh says:

    Parul I cannot agree more. I have almost ghost written things I like these in my head through the innumerable conversations one overhears at work.

    Parity is paving way to customised solutions. Accepting we are different, not highlighting.

  3. Great topic. But very refreshingly, I have cases at my Singapore office where seniors women leaders have ‘stay at home’ husbands, taking care of their kids, managing the house and have happily given up their jobs for their wives to go ahead in their careers. How many such men have we heard of in India?

  4. Aseem says:

    The case of the girl who left her job just thinking that her in – laws wouldn’t law is quite sad to be honest. As you said one should be the change you wish to see. Along with that its important that the husband and the family support you in pursuing your goals as well.

    I am reminded of a cricketer of the Indian women’s team who after her pregnancy lost about 20 kgs and is now working to get back to playing cricket again. It’s all about the effort, support and the courage to fulfill your dreams :).

    Thinking about a country like Russia, I have heard from my colleagues there that women get upto 2-3 years of maternity leave which has about 1.5 years of paid leave. These things go a long way in helping women.
    Aseem recently posted…I want to take my blog to the next level #BlogchatterMy Profile

  5. Geets says:

    Be the change you wish to see and that is the best way to break all the stereotypes. The quote is perfect and the examples that you have given above are ubiquitious.. It happens with everyone. And leaving work after marriage.. Honestly, its no big deal in the North.. Seriously, I see so many women doing that and so happily as well without realizing what are they doing/sacrificing.
    A person I know, she was working pretty well before marriage and then got fed up of the corporate life and left the job and got married. Just a few months later, she realized she missed working, she missed her independence and when she had conversation with her husband about the same, her husband was pretty clear that they had the talk before marriage about her not working and now why is she changing her mind all of a sudden? Moreover, even if she starts working, that has to suit the family needs, be it about the timings or the kind of job or anything that would find be PERMISSIBLE! And all of this with an educated woman who is wedded in a very well to do family!

    It really surpises why women give so much of power to conquer people around her other than herself..

    The post is really well written Parul 🙂


  6. Sampada says:

    It is the woman’s mindset that needs to change first. Even before we ask men to treat us equally, women need to believe that they can be much more than a care-giver. And she has the right to be what she wants to be, only she might have to give a little fight.

    I hate seeing women who drop everything they like to do to please the husband and in-laws. Its time they thought for themselves and stood up for themselves.

    A great post as usual.

  7. Mabel Kwong says:

    This is such a great post to push for gender parity and gender equality. Gender stereotypes are still pervasive these days, just like you said when to hear your boss dropped you home as the men stayed back to work. I didn’t know that such a thing existed, but given the cultural norms there it seems to be something not surprising to the locals. I don’t know if you felt glad or more sad to move on from the job?

    Women are capable of what they want to do. All we have to do is put our mind to it and work towards it. If it means taking a different approach than others, then use a different approach. Breaking down the stereotype will be hard but the more we don’t speak up about that, the more we won’t get anywhere.

    • Parul Thakur says:

      I left the job because software development wasn’t my interest. But culturally if men drop women home it’s like chivalry. So, ever after 10 years, I have seen men offering. We need to talk about this and that is important. The more we keep quiet, the more we will feed in to stereotypes.

  8. Totally agree with these points. Especially with regard to the woman who did not even think to talk to her fiance before already deciding that he or his mom may not like her working. That is the kind of mentality that needs to change.
    Roshan Radhakrishnan recently posted…Is rape sanskari too, now?My Profile

  9. Change does begin with us and if we see a gap, the first responsibility we have is to ask for support irrespective of the fact whether we are employed in a corporate or we sray at home. There is absolutely no need to work under stress which can push us to the brink. Should I feel sorry for that woman who without even speaking to her future husband or in-laws left the work force? My mind questions why did she give up before even trying.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently posted…Changing Mindsets, Sharing Responsibilities – #PledgeforparityMy Profile

  10. Sid says:

    I’ve been reading news that say it will be 2113 before women achieve parity standards with me. I’m sure if we all worked collectively, we can pull it forward by a considerable amount.
    Even the smallest changes in our mindset and attitudes help, I believe.

  11. Oh that story about that young woman is sad. Isn’t it true that sometimes we women perpetuate these things ourselves. I wonder what she will do now? I too stopped working after marriage, but that’s because I opted out of the business partnership I was in and didn’t find an alternative in Mumbai that was worth my time. Jose was absolutely fine if I wanted to stay in that partnership and travel between Hyderabad and Mumbai. But it was my choice and I had the experience to redefine what I wanted to do.
    About the glass ceiling, it’s so frustrating for women working in corporates to keep encountering that. But we have to press on.
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Unequal At Birth #PledgeForParityMy Profile

  12. Nabanita says:

    I think the lesson here is to do what we want to do and not keep sacrificing coz we are women. A woman is much much more than just a wife or a mother & she needs to remember that. I haven’t yet worked in a company where they are willing to give flexible hours to help women continue their careers along with their fanily. Maybe it will happen soon. But we need to keep trying.

    • Parul Thakur says:

      Yes, Nabanita. We need to try. In Infosys – a friend work from a different office for 3 months after maternity to stay close to baby’s day care. So they too support. Ask for it!

  13. Red handed says:

    Such a refreshing post. Women tend to be their own enemies. We wonder if we are eligible to everything that a man is allowed to be or do. We are ready to kill our dreams just for the sake of the happiness of our family. I believe it’s injected in us. That is precisely the problem.

  14. Bellybytes says:

    As usual a thought provoking post.

  1. March 12, 2016

    […] I remembered it when I read Parul Thakur’s post ‘Change begins with you‘ […]

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