The teenager she was, being good for nothing kept coming on her mind all the time. That insecurity of not being like others and worrying about her life ahead. The emotions that played havoc and the mind that was never convinced that she would achieve something in life. She wrote in diaries and hid it under the bed. She scribbled something and when those drop of tears smudged the words, she knew she had to hide it deeper for no one to find. She never wanted to reveal her true feelings.
The twenty-something she was, she was figuring her purpose in life. She saw that merit did no good and degrees did not get jobs. She struggled to understand what was expected and then tried to meet expectations. She could not find happiness. She was scared of her future and she still did not know what would make her happy in life. She was strong from the outside, but the same scared teenager on the inside. She scribbled at the back of notebooks and she knew no one can find that in her hostel room wardrobe.
Over years, more experiences brought some clarity in thoughts and she found her career of choice. She took some calculated risks and realized her life is in her hands. She could see light at the end of the tunnel and started making choices for herself. Personal, professional and all that in between. She made mistakes but kept on moving.
The thirty-something she is, she is open to exploring more interests. She wants to give life a go. She wants to live and do things that she always dreamt of. She wants to see the world and live in every country possible. She blogs and when spoken words fail her, the written words come to her rescue. She loves to click pictures and appreciates herself on every good shot. When her words touch someone’s heart, her day gets more meaningful and she sleeps sound. She looks at the sky and the moon every day. Most of the times, she also captures them in her phone camera. They never change but she still wants to look at them and learn how to stay put.
She is a little late in life but she believes that it’s never too late. She doesn’t want to have regrets in life. She is not very organized and planful. Her vocabulary is simple and she has hardly a reader base but her blog is her den. A place where her thoughts play their own games and sometimes they win. She smiles on each post that goes live cos somewhere all along her words never saw any light under the bed or inside a wardrobe.
Now is the time for her, her raison d’être.
happiness and food 
Beautiful, beautiful! So refreshingly beautiful the way your thoughts pour into words and create a self-portrait of a blogger that I have been reading for a little over a year now!You are way bigger and way more talented than what you think you are, dear Parul! All I can say is keep writing…keep blogging, and let me tell you – you do have a huge reader base, girl! Your blog is one of the best that I have come across, so you must know that you are also an inspiration for many bloggers out there, still struggling to find their voice (including yours truly!!)
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That’s such a lovely first comment and I can’t express how I’m feeling right now. Thank you is a small word Esha. You touched my heart. Means much more than you can imagine.
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Amazing post Parul! I can relate to it in so many ways. I m still the scared teenager though I m not a teenager anymore.. Still exploring what gives me happiness… Its a beautiful journey to go through. And I m glad you are figuring it out. And like Esha mentioned, yours is a very different blog I came across, something so committed to women empowerment and doing good. You are GOOD.
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Thank you, Samra for encouraging. Yes, still a scared teenager on many fronts till date and the journey of finding myself will keep on going. It’s like a never-ending quest. 🙂
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Beautiful soul searching post!
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Thank you Harmony!
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Keep being yourself Parul.
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Thank you Sunita!
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I am delighted to know that those words which the diaries and notebooks held for long seeking refuge in the wardrobes and under the bed have found the meaning today. Those were the foundation of a unique and strong personality, that is you. Over the last one year that I have known you, one thing that I have found about you is your unfailing positivity. Whether you write about yourself or the issues pertaining women, never have I seen despair in your posts. This connects me with you and inspires me everytime when my emotions take a dip. I can go on and on, ending up writing a post in itself here. I will get in touch with you offline 🙂
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Appreciate your words Anamika. Makes me want to write more 🙂 You sweet comment left me smiling. So grateful.
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What a beautiful post. Life is only going to get better for you, as you continue to find yourself, and continue to mature. Yes, mature even more. You’ll see such depth and meaning in life. Keep writing and blogging, and taking those phone pictures!
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Alana, you are right. mature will come as I find more about myself and what excites me. Thank you for your words.
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Your words touched a heart today so sleep tight 🙂 Everyone has their own personal journey to find that point of “raison d’être”
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Totally agree!
Oh, I had a good sleep 🙂 Thank you!
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This wonderfully lady seems to have evolved over the decades of teens, 20s,30s into somebody who touches hearts through her words 🙂
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Thank you Astha for saying that 🙂
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Long may she continue to inspire with her thoughts and words!
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Thanks for saying that, Corinne.
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“She blogs and when spoken words fail her, the written words come to her rescue.”
Yes!
I like how you tackled this challenge, was lovely reading.
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Thanks much!
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That teenager I am right now. This is a very inspiring post and one I believe many writers can relate to. I’m hoping to learn and grow the way you did, glad that your words have finally reached where it belongs! Thank you for this post. 🙂
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Thank you so much! Appreciate you saying that Darshana 🙂
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I’m reading this post at exactly the moment I need to. Reading this gives me hope that maybe I’ll grow up to be a stronger person, and not be someone who has no clue about the future!
Thank you for posting this, Parul. It really brought a smile to my face. 😊
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Thank you so much! Life gives us all the same lessons. It’s just up to us to make something out of those situations we face. so, cheer up! 🙂
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Beautifully expressed, Parul. We need to believe in ourselves and that smile after every blog goes live, comes from that trust. Keep blogging, dear… 🙂
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